Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I hate all girls vehemently.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
