This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
try to milk me bitch
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