I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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