My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
