this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
