Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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