Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
