mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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