I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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