Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
