Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
