He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
