the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my being single is dangerous.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
