I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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