Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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