Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize