You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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