you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
