I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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