Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
