im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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