Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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