i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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