There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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