Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.

Fav 16 1949 3571
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(904): View more from Florida

it's circumsized.

(954): View more from Florida

I think this conversation is over.

Fav 44 1518 5367
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(519): View more from Ontario

Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.

Fav 10 2162 1212
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.

Fav 3 2371 815
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up

Fav 4 1141 718
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(270): View more from Kentucky

You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.

Fav 16 2020 701
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(816): View more from Missouri

Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?

Fav 6 1070 590
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.

Fav 0 19 21
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.

Fav 0 219 23
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