this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize