You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
