I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
