ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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