I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
