i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
