its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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