I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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