Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
