the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
