You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
