I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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