Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
