Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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