she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
