i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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