i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
