Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
