So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
