We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Panties = found
Randomize
