How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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