I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
