I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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