I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
