plz talk dirty to me
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize