she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
