white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
