I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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