Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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