they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize