i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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