On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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