And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
