you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
