the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
