dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
