To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
