I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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