He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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