Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
